Thursday, January 30, 2014

A Personal Post That Needed To Be Shared

Last year, 2013, was a significant year in my life because it was the year i found myself, i found out that i could literally be/do whatever i wanted and life is too damn short to not be happy. At a point i was in a very bad place, the worst. I was clinically depressed and i did stupid things which i am grateful for because i learned from them. I learned that no matter how much i love someone, i couldn’t save them from themselves. I met the most amazing people who changed my life. Like, i am not even kidding, i fell in love with minds so different from mine, people that made my heart light and my body feathers. People that were good out of the goodness of their hearts, people that had no need to impress anyone, people that stood out, i met this people and they had the most remarkable effect on me.
People say, ohh you’ve changed and it is true. I have changed. Someone told me “oh Asma, you are now weak” that shook me to my bones. I am termed weak for letting go of all the aggression and anger in my heart. I am called weird for embracing the fact that i am different and accepting who i am. I am not your typical girl. I will not wear clothes that i am not happy and comfortable in to please anyone, i will not mind my words to seem more “classy”, i curse so damn much and i wear trainers 70% of the time. I am happy with myself. 
Over the past year i learned to let go of anger, i realised my potential and i learned that if you listen closely, you are not so different from other people. when people speak, I learned to listen with an open mind and an open heart, i learned to let the waves of ocean blood pulsing through my veins to guide me and make me a better person. So yes, i have changed, i am not angry and aggressive anymore, i am warm and i am trying to be kinder. I am accepting people for who they are and reserving judgement. I am not God, i have no right to say things about peoples actions. Every single person has a reason for what they do and if what they do is so off the top for you that you just can’t see reason, ask. Ask them why they did what they did but remember, they do not owe you an explanation. Not for any reason. and if they decide not to explain themselves to you, walk away, it’s so easy. hold nothing against them for that is their right.
I received so much aggressive tweets for tweeting about not caring about homosexuality. I still stand by that. what people choose to do and not to do is of no concern to me, why should i get worked up over something that affects me in no possible way. Freedom. be free to be who you are and do what ever the fuck you want to do because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. Love harder, be kinder, reserve judgement. Respect yourself enough to respect the interests of other people even if you are not interested in the same thing. If someone loves books and you don’t, respect yourself enough to respect their passion for books and do not make fun of them. People can be quite vulnerable sometimes and you have no idea how much words can hurt. I know that first hand. “I was just kidding” is not an excuse to be a dick. Calm yourself down. Some people are soft while some are hard. choose your words carefully.
I am still the same strong passionate girl i used to be. Just that now, i am a lot stronger and a lot more passionate and when you let go of all the diamond hard rock anger and hate and aggression weighing your heart down, you will understand that this life, is too short, too temporary to be nothing but happy. 


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