Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Story of Love.

I saw him walk away from the crowd,
My heart leaped and i couldn't breathe,
I went after him,
He did not see me,
I walked slowly past a fountain,
Out by the trees i saw him stand,
Beautiful as ever,
I tried to touch him but i couldn't,
Yet i felt joy and my heart screamed,
My head exploded with colours and sugar,
I felt feelings i had never felt,
A nut turned in my stomach as he turned,
He gave me that smile that i so remember and he took my hand,
We stood by the trees and stared into each others eyes,
I missed him, I missed him more than words could,
"Why did you have to leave"? i cried,
"I wanted you to find me" he replied,
And wiped my tears,
His hands were cold and oh so soft,
I couldn't bare to lose him again,
He kissed my eyes and told me between my sobs,
"This time its forever, you found me",
And i believed him,
We sat by the trees all night long,
The sun faded and the moon rose,
Time stopped and we were Infinite,
We are forever.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Some of you might find this offensive or stupid but then this is my opinion and your opinions are welcomed and can be shared in the comments section.

I am upset right now and this is not usually my kind of post but i think you will be seeing more posts like this. Anyways the source of my anguish this night is none other than the public asking us to donate for every single thing. Now don't get me wrong, donating is a good thing, i always force my parents to donate to charity organisations but lately its like people think the world is stupid. Like there are people out there actually in need of help. Like people affected by natural disasters, homeless people, these are people that need food and shelter and truly money can help but then its like the world thinks money can fix everything. i found this in a site that donates money to the Sandy Hook victims and this is what the page says "This fundraiser is focused on helping the teachers and families who lost loved ones and students in the Sandy Hook shooting in Newtown, CT. This money will go towards anything these families need in their time of mourning and grieving, to get them on their feet, to give them hope, and everything else. To know that there are people out there that want to help support them and make school and learning feel safe, secure, and a good place to be again."

Really, money can fix a broken heart?? for some reason this got me very angry. and please don't misunderstand, i am not insensitive, believe me i am probably the most sensitive people out there but this just feels wrong and if i lost someone i loved and u give me money i would be overly offended. Like, sometimes all we need is some space to grieve or a shoulder to cry or simply a hug. Money can not bring back the dead and it certainly cannot replace the person you love. To get them on their feet?? to give them hope?? when did money start giving hope?? hope that the person u love will come back??really?? Giving them money to buy material worldly things justifies killing their kids??? this organisation does not say anything about getting to the bottom of what really happened and why it happened.

What people need to do is walk up to washington and demand to see whomever is in charge and let him/her know shit is wrong. I mean you give a child a lollipop sure he is going to suck on it. You allow people to carry guns around just because a piece of paper they signed gives them a licence to carry it around, sure they are going to start shooting up things. and sadly they didn't shoot birds or deers, they shot little kids. That is just sick and the fact that the government allows people to have guns is just sickening.
i know people would say it is safe if it is for self defense. Is it?? is it really for self defense?? and if there is more security in the world, people wouldn't need to think about owning guns to protect themselves. and people lose their shit sometimes and go nuts and oh look, i remembered to get a gun while i was sane so why not use it now and break hearts all over.

Something is wrong somewhere and someone needs to look into it.
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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

This Love

One winter night,
With the wind in my hair,
And the cold electrifying my fingers,
I feel inlove,

Love so strong,
It overwhelmed my mind,
Its flames erupted through my heart,
Like the fires of mount Doom,

It burned my skin,
A glowing red,
My face flourished,
Like the desert sun,

I could not breath,
I could not think,
This love was strong,
It consumed me,

Although it hurt,
I was in no pain,
This love made me smile,
Like the morning sun,

It was ecstatic,
I was in a daze,
One winter night,
I cried happy tears,

My tears flowed,
A warm trickle,
Like the summer lake,
It was euphoric,

One winter night,
I fell inlove,
This love was different,
I found my ONE.
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Weeping Sunflower

This is it. The nothingness scared him. He knowz what lies ahead and he does not want to live that life. Slowly he lifted the blade and kept it on the desk beside the glass of water he wAs having. It seemed beautiful and small, shining against the sun coming in from the window and it reflected the glass in a weird way. Made him think of diamonds. He thought of writing a note but their was nothing to write and the nothingness all around him was what brought him to now. He sipped the water, put it back down, lifted it again, and drained the cup. Without thinkin any further he lifted the blade, sliced one wrist, switched hands, and sliced the other. This is it. He told himself. He laid down on his bed, trying to be logical as to not make a mess. His sister wouldn't then want the room. He laid in his bed and waited. Yes he waited for death. 

Time seemed to slow. He could here the clock go "tik" and then "tock". It was annoying really but he laid there. Waiting for death is painful he thought. Not painful in a physical way but painful in a draining kind of way. Maybe because his life was draining he thought. The wind blew through the curtains and the metallic smell of blood hit him and he smiled, a satisfactory smile. He would soon leave this emptiness, he mused. The first wave of dizziness hit him and he relaxed more into his bed. İt didn't hurt. The pain from the blade was so minute he thought it was almost not there. But he would soon turn to dirt so it was fine. Raised as an athiest he never realy thought about God but now he had time before death took him so why not. There was nothing to think about because honestly he didnt care one bit for the world or about God. All he wanted was way out nd he found it, if there was a God, he would have tried to stop him from killing himself, wouldn't he? His head got heavy nd his eyes got heavy. This is it. And just like that, he closed his eyes and went to sleep. Selfish it may seem but his reasons are his and just before he went completely out he saw it, a single sunflower and it wAs crying. He was confused as to why a sunflower would cry or even how that was possible but it was time and his little guest was waiting for him. It was too late to fight the sleep and so he left his empty life behind, thinking about the weeping sunflower.
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Dull Jackets

She wore navy green pants and a purple sweat shirt and i could pick her out of the mass of people crossing the road coz she stood out. In their dull colored jackets they all seemed the same. They walked about with an air of nothingness, like nothing rily mattered and this was their routine. To cross the road everyday at 12pm to get that place they needed to go. It was all sad and dull in that narrow street but she seemed different. With her really curly messy hair sticking out from beneath her multicoloured hat and coloured headphones. I could not see her face but from the way she walked and bobbed her head to the music, she seemed to be having a brighter day from within her headphones than the people in tailored suits and dull jackets. 

It was peaceful watching her walk away. She seemed alright, but she probably wasn't but at that moment, that very instant  her coloured attire caught my eye, i could swear she was at her infinite. She was probably off in an adventure. From the way she was dressed, she seemed like a risk taker. she walked with an air of confidence that seemed reassuring somewhat. she may not be all i think she is but that moment was all that mattered. that very minute i saw her walking to the otherside of the street. And for some reason it gave me hope. Maybe, just maybe it is not the same old routine and truly there,there has to be more to life than dull jackets and repeating routines. 
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