Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What Can I Do??

I am sitting here watching the news and my favourite topic comes up "Palestine". It is not my favourite topic because i enjoy what is happening over there, it is because there is just something attractive about a people who know their rights and will stop at nothing to get it. So i sit, hopelessly behind my screen and i wonder, what could i do to possibly help? to at least contribute to the plight of Palestinians, their plight for freedom, and i swear to you nothing came. I am basically a minor living with my parents still in college. I do not have any personal funds of any sort unless what i get from my family so i wondered what could a minion like me possibly do to make an impact? 

I am heartbroken right now. The realisation that at this very instant a kid is lying down in a home, scared probably, wondering how long the silence from the missiles would last while i am here, behind my pc, cosy in my pyjamas and blanket. Its just really upsetting how useless i feel. There has to be so much more to life than sitting all day watching the news feeling sadder and sadder for humanity as the day goes by.

A palestinian friend of mine got into a misunderstanding with someone and he told me "there was nothing i could do because if i should get arrested in Palestine,it would basically be the end of my life,i wouldn't be allowed out of the country and won't go back to school". To subject people to a kind of imprisonment where they feel every single mistake they make could mean the end for them is very sad in a supposed civilised world. I mean, isn't that what the whole upgrade to civilisation is about? absolute freedom? i do not see freedom here. An American child would go to jail today, come out tomorrow and PROBABLY run for some public office tomorrow and have some very intriguing speech regarding to his right to run for office regardless of his previous mistakes. 

And then, they end up being blamed for defending themselves. It's like me getting raped today and then held in contempt for hitting my rapist. How is that just?? what sort of judge would rule upon this case? I saw a woman cry and speak about how she lost 2 sons and a 2 year old grandson to a missile intentionally targeting them….2 years old?? really?? what sort of crime could a two year old possibly commit?? I lose hope for the human race day by day. The fact that there are countries, national powers sitting out there whom have the means to put a stop to this is making me crazy. Imagine if it were you or your people being oppressed. 

My friend could not understand why i am so passionate about Palestine and i told her. I may not be Palestinian or Israeli. I have never been to either countries but i do not have to be to be human and know the difference between right and wrong. As a muslim child, i was not told, i read in the holy book and i quote "he who does not love for his brother what he loves for himself is not one of us". Islam taught me how we are all brothers and sisters. We may not be related by blood or country but we are all related by faith and i would certainly want for Palestinians what i would want for my little brother who means more that the world to me and it is not Oppression.

The question still lingers. what could i possibly do to help the plight of Palestinians? i still do not know and someone will tell me "oh writing about it and telling the world, creating as much awareness as possible about the bloodshed and massacre going on over there is a way" but honestly it is not. We all need to slip on the shoes of the little child who lives in fear and probably traumatised and imagine, what would we want others to do for us if it were us being oppressed. If nobody can stand up and put an end to this GENOCIDE then honestly, humanity has not moved an inch from the stone age. We are just more technologically advanced at being cruel and Racism will forever be an obstacle.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Love Gone Wrong

I grew up with the unhealthy notion that if some one loves you, they would never hurt you, they would do everything in their power to make sure you never go through pain...that was my idea. It was all fiction. Life is not a bed of roses. I learned that people can deliberately make u fall inlove with them just to gain joy from ur pain when they leave you. Very cruel world. I learned over the years that love is not just words nd hugs or kisses and roses. Its compromise and understanding, communication and trust, atleast that is what i have come to understand. Falling inlove is easy, falling out of love, now thats the tricky part. I mean, they don't teach you that in school. They teach us to love one another but they forgot to teach us to not love when necessary. yes, with love and compassion, the world is a better place, or so i believe but then, i probably do not know the first thing about love. Still, when you love someone honestly and sincerely, i believe that is when that person becomes ur axis. Every single thing u do from that moment on affects that person. What u say matters and what you don't say matters even more. U begin to want nothing but the absolute best for that person, they are constantly in ur head. U can't fall asleep coz all u do is think about them. Their happiness becomes number one priority for you....or so i think. Yes, love is not madness and neither is it selfish. Taking care of urself and letting that person take care of u is also love. Love is supposed to be mutual. It can't work lopsided. I mean, i love you and you love me and that is it, not i love and u are not sure. I have come to understand that most of all, love is painful....very. There is nothing more painful than "love gone wrong"...yeah, i named it. The pain is immense, u try to breath but u can't, its lyk some weight is pressing down on ur heart, preventing u from functioning. Sucks. After the massive pain and hurt and cluelessness comes the anger. So much anger that u are afraid u will suddenly mutate into this giant green monster and attack people. Anger by far bigger than u and u are afraid it will consume u and take over ur mind and cloud ur judgement. And then it subsides, like the drawback of the waves from the shore. It all goes away faster than it came...u don't even notice it because followed by it is numbness. You lose ur ability to feel. Nothing matters at that point. Joy, sadness, anger, pain...none of it matters at this point. U are like in a trans...auto pilot more like it and what sucks even more is while all this chaos was going on within u, the source of ur pain is somewhere off, being cool, being chilled, not giving a shit about what you are going through. 
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Baby Terrorist

They label me a terrorist before they even know my name, well call me Baby and let my last name be Terrorist. Baby Terrorist. Now how does that suite me? Does it go with my undersized shoes or little fingers? When you see me in my stroller in the street, u'll probably wave nd simply say "hello, baby terrorist". Why all this you may wonder? Well because i'm Muslim and to make matters worse...Palestinian. Obviously a terrorist. Why baby you may think? Well because i am, i am a few months old, still in diapers and can only feed if fed. Yes, i am a little infant. That is what you may see. Is that what the Israel oppressive government see? Oh no, thats not what they see because they don't even look at me. They know i am here, and i am breathing so its safe to assume i am a terrorist. God forbid let me grow up and become someone, i'll end up becoming a nuisance, push comes to shove i end up a terrorist, with guns and machetes, to smash the heads of every Jew i walk by. My mother has no say neither does my father, they are probably dead right now, under the rubble of a house i used to live in, struck by a missile from God knows where for God knows why. They kill us  for being who we are, born in a land our fathers used to own. We have no place to call our own anymore, the children like me can't go out because our mothers are afraid we may end up getting hit by a missile somewhere. We have noone to stand for us and when we fight back, we are at fault, for defending something that was initially ours to begin with. It hurts believe me it does. I am Palestinian by origin and by birth, call me whatever you want, terrorist today, murderer tomorrow but the difference between me and my oppressors is, my faith. My faith is strong and unwavering and no matter how many missiles they throw at me, my faith will never die. 
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