Saturday, July 14, 2012


Its like you wake up one morning and then it hits you like a train. Realization dawns upon you just how empty your life is. The greatest feeling in the world is to love and be loved they say, you don't know that, your heart yearns for love yet, selfishness and cowardice over shadows your mind. You are lost in a trance, in a world where you tell yourself what to believe and how to act. You close up your heart and dwell in the darkness of your soul. They say love is magical but you don't believe it. You think love is just  peoples way of justifying irrational and complicated feelings towards each other. Love at first sight is the silliest of them all you think.

Today you begin to wonder, if you were to die today, like completely be gone from the face of the earth, would you truly look up at the gates of heave and say "My life was complete"? They say your life is only complete when you share it with someone. You begin to ponder on the reasons why you ended up alone. You realize you took yourself above others. Gave yourself principles too great to even keep up with. Set your bar so high knowing noone would reach it. Sadness burdens you and your heart becomes heavy.

You begin to cry but the tears hurt. You have noone to talk to, no one to console you, noone to hand you a tissue. Your heart tightens and you clutch at your chest for dear life screaming out "i'm sorry" but what are you sorry for? who are you telling? You remember you are alone in a big apartment in a very large world. As the tears flow you realize the universe has no pity on cowards and selfish people. "I should have taken a chance with my heart" you cry but the tears just hurt more. You roll over on your big empty bed, clutching at the depression trying to swallow you up, not even thinking about fighting it.

Suddenly like a queue from above, your heart losens, the tears stop hurting, the pain lessens. You try to stand up, your feet tingle but you try to walk anyways towards the big door of the big apartment. You open the door and walk down the stairs leading to the beach. You stand before the ocean and feel so small in a world so big and then this little kid,so small, like an angel walks up to you and tugs at your hand and asks "why are you sad?" with true concern in his eyes. You wonder how a kid you don't even know could feel concern for you and then you realize this could be you second chance, the universe handing it to you. You bend a little,smile at the kid, and then you whisper "I'm not sad anymore kid,i think i just might have figured out what love is". Confused kid, smiling adult. You kiss the kids head, wave goodbye and walk off smiling, feeling the very soft wet sad cuddle between your toes.


Post a Comment